I also think that if this relationship hearting you, it is better to end it. From what I understand, you haven’t asked your wife a direct question, or have you? Maybe, if she’ll tell you the truth, you’ll feel better. And don’t blame yourself, as in such case it is easy to fall into depression, which is never good. If you’ll start to feel like your world is falling apart, quickly find another person. I know that it is not that easy… But an account on a decent dating site
https://datingtop10.net/professionals/ might help. What if you and your wife just aren’t meant for each other? It will be easier to accept it if you’ll have a new love.